Captain? I don’t think so. I want you, guys, to think of me as one of the boys, so tonight I’ll be swapping out my Captain’s hat for my Kangol hat. Call me Raymond.
today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…
“what was it like 400 years ago?” fuck if i know. i don’t even remember what it was like last week.
catch me procrastinating basic tasks for twenty times longer
“oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to fixing that window, but I’ve just been so busy, y’know?”
“you’ve lived here since 1740″
MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Walking through a museum and seeing some old things of yours and just going “FUCK. FUCK GOD DAMN IT, I’ve been looking for this forEVER” and then trying to haggle with the curator to get your shit back
ahhh now I understand why Jeff Goldblum is like that
So Captain Underpants explores the friendship between a gay boy and a black bisexual boy and y’all wanna say Beauty and the Beast was the pinnacle of gay representation in children’s films huh
Captain Underpants comes out on Pride Month. Coincidence? I think the fuck NOT.
Excuse but Harold and George aint gay.
You miss the book where Harold has a husband?
Fanfiction aint canon
It’s in the official books written by the actual author, so it is canon. Pilkey wrote it, so it’s canon.
I refuse to believe he willingly inserted a political agenda into a popular, established children series
Oh look, stuff from the book! The actual canon book.
Look at Harold with his husband and kids. Very small but super poignant.
LOL @ ‘wouldn’t put political agendas in children’s books’.
I loved unicorns when I was eleven/twelve years old and then I learned that it was real soft and nerdy to love unicorns so I checked out of the whole unicorn-liking mindset because I felt a need to be hardening myself and copping a dark-stuff-only stance
then when I was 19 my girlfriend gave me a coffee cup with a unicorn on it and on receiving it I discovered that I had internalized some bullshit anti-unicorn stance and it made me sad
to those unicorns who didn’t get liked by me during my bullshit years: my bad, do you like carrots, I will leave a plate of carrots out by the back door, I also have oats
![welcometonerdland:
“ blenderweaselhasopinions:
“ mistertotality:
“ 4gifs:
“Soup-serving robot fail. [video]
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Simone Giertz, the self-proclaimed “Queen of Shitty Robots.” She intentionally engineers terrible robots just for fun.
”
everything this...](https://78.media.tumblr.com/321f25bac0c7c23620644bc38d740fd7/tumblr_oyfnr1SXBc1tlb56zo1_400.gif)
